Good morning everyone! I must apologize for yesterdays blog. I didn't realize till I read over it this morning that only part of the story was saved and published! The whole story was never published on the website like I thought. As I read the part that actually did publish I was actually embarrassed! It made me look like I was playing the victim and dwelling too much on my childhood. The story actually had a lesson to it that I am hoping will help someone else ..to help my children or someone else's child. So today I will just summarize what my actual thoughts and experience and what I learned from it and how I and many others out there reading this can apply to our children's walk in life dealing with friendships.
In a nutshell my experiences with friends growing up were not the best experiences atleast most of them weren't. Due to my lack of confidence and inadequacies I made some really bad choices that I can never take back but that I can learn from and as I get older I am that much wiser for it. It was so bad it took time away from my mom that was dying at the time from breast cancer. I was so consumed in my self pity that I was not thinking of her needs and the seriousness of the issue. Believe me I paid for that as I struggled with guilt for so long after she passed. It wasn't till the year 1998 that I finally woke up to what the Lord was trying to tell me for soooo many years. That year it took my mother dying..suffering alone in my apartment...meeting Wayne three months later.. getting married and moving to Iowa for me to finally wake up and see what is really important. I was so focused on having a close friend that would always have your back and would do anything for you, thinking of your interest. Well I found that when God gave me Wayne. The move to Iowa was bitter sweet. I knew no one! I was really starting fresh in my life. It was hard at first but am so glad I went through it. It strengthened Wayne and I's marriage. I made better choices in friends. The breaking ah ha moment was when I renewed my life with Christ in front of the entire congregation at the church we were joining on what would have been my mother's 62nd birthday Dec. 13 1998.
I have learned that I have a BFF that will never leave nor forsake me, ever...that truly wants to be my friend. JESUS CHRIST. He brought me Wayne and most importantly wisdom on the issue of true friendship.
What really brought me to write this blog is my children. I see what they go through with friends and it took me back to my childhood and what I experienced. Bethany is like me now..she wants to be friends with everyone..she loves everyone through the love of Christ and would do anything in the world to help someone not matter who it is. She has such a bubbly personality you can't help but love. She takes what her peers tell her with a grain of salt. She has been played numerous times..so and so wants to be her friend then a week later tells Bethany she doesn't like her anymore. She has come home in tears several times over this. We have lots of discussions over this. And she has grown a backbone. She is stronger for it and tries to pick her friends wisely. She is open to her so called friends on how she feels then walks away. 9 times out of 10 that friend comes back apologizing for what she did. Bethany is learning to forgive but at the same not fall back into that trap. I am hoping this frame of thinking sticks with her through the coming years. She is more confident at that age than I was.
Daniel is a little more like the old me but surely not as severe at this point. He is more shy and reserved and is seems a little more vulnerable. He is in middle school where all that peer pressure starts. He is doing great in school and so far has made some wise choices in friends. He has a few really good friends that I hope he continues to develop.He learned a couple of years ago what damage it can do when you think you have a friend and turns out to be a foe. It was good learning experience for him and gave me the opportunity to share some of my stories as a teaching tool. He is gaining more confidence now and as he approaches those teenage years more lesson will be taught and lots of prayers going up!
It will be an ongoing lesson for all of us for quite awhile as the kids go through thier changes and since we have the propensity of moving around with Wayne's job with John Deere.
As I go through this my with children and as I look back on my on life these lessons come to mind:
The Dictionary describes a friend as -a person whom one knows well and is fond of. An ally.supporter or sympathizer.
It describes a foe as - an enemy. That may sound harsh for this particular blog but in my experience they really were the enemy as well as my selfishness. Satan, the true ememy really had a hold on me for so long.
What scriptures says about Friendship:
-Proverbs 17:17 A FRIEND LOVES AT ALL TIMES
-Proverbs 18:24 A MAN OF MANY COMPANIONS MAY COME TO RUIN,BUT THERE IS A FRIEND WHO STICKS CLOSER THAN A BROTHER.( you have don't have to be popular to feel wanted. Sometimes it's better to have one or two really close friends that will truly be a friend to you. Its not quantity but quality. That"s what I try to instill in my kids. I also tell them that they already have a good friend in Jesus)
-Proverbs 27:10 DO NOT FORSAKE YOUR FRIEND ( I try to teach my kids that once you make a committment to be a friend to someone you work hard to maintain that friendship.. don't dump a friend because you think you found a better one) I have been dumped by friends before and it's not a good feeling. It's hard because you think you know someone but sometimes you really don't.
-Proverbs 13;20 HE WHO WALKS WITH THE WISE GROWS WISE, BUT A COMPANION OF FOOLS SUFFERS HARM(Thus the foe)
-Proverbs 16:28 A PERVERST MAN STIRS UP DISSENSION, AND A GOSSIP SEPARATES CLOSE FRIENDS
- John 15:13 GREATER LOVE HAS NO ONE THAN THIS, THAT HE LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS.
A FRIEND OFFERS SINCERE ADVICE
Ecclesiastes 4:9 TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE..
Ecclesiastes 4:10 IF ONE FALLS DOWN,HIS FRIEND CAN HELP HIM UP
All I know is if it wasn't for my Savior Jesus Christ I would still be in a low state I was in years ago. I am so blessed to have a BFF as Jesus. Not only does He give me hope and wisdom and understanding He also gives me the tools to pass that hope, wisdom and understanding to others!
So to my readers out there , if you are struggling with a friendship or if you are facing these issues go the Jesus first He will surely guide you through. And if you don't know Jesus as your Savior call on Him today. He is waiting with His loving arms opened wide for you to come to Him. He so wants to be your friend. And believe me there is no better friend to have.
God bless you all :)
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