Good morning everyone. I hope everyone had a great week! Mine went by really fast due to the kids having a short school week. Today I would like to share the issues I have had with Covet -Desire - Want. They may be one in then same but happens in a wide variety of ways.
TO COVET IS TO WANT INTENSELY ESPECIALLY SOMETHING THAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS:
I believe I have the best job in the world..a stay at home mom!. I love taking care of my husband and my two great kids and our home. I try to take pride in providing a good comfortable and safe home for my family. At first I seem happy and content with what God has blessed us with in our home THEN I go to someone else's home and end up comparing what they have to what we have. Now I am second guessing my contentment with our home. I really love how they decorated their house better than how I decorated ours. Their house is bigger and has better storage than ours. When I get back to our home I feel like I am living in a shack. I watch alot of HGTV househunters which makes me anxious to move so we can pick out a better house. We do tend to move alot with Wayne's job so that day will come again eventually!
As I read over what I just wrote it sounds really alarming! I was always quick to judge other people doing the same things I was doing and thinking!
TO DESIRE IS TO LONG FOR - TO CRAVE - TO ASK FOR
TO WANT IS TO WISH FOR SOMETHING YOU LACK
As a woman it is hard to see the changes that take place in me inside and out as the years go by. It is harder to lose weight, that darn gravity! The hair is graying, thank goodness for hair coloring, which by the way I have an appointment in two hours for mine ;0 The dark circles and bags under the eyes. I don't want to try on clothes for fear how ugly I would look in them. I, as most women, are pretty hard on themselves concerning our bodies. I go to the gym and see women around my age that are in great shape, skin is flawless and the hair is gorgeous even after sweating after a kickboxing class..so jealous!When I work out you can definitely tell...my hair is soaking sweat all over and as red faced like I've been laying on the beach for hours. I look at the other women and desire to have what they have.
I compare my God given talents and gifts with others and want to be creative like them. I am horrible in crafting and sewing. I can't make anything but a mess. I want be a good singer, musician, teacher, writer and the list goes on and on. I feel like I am lacking in some many areas that I want to be so badly.
Reading over those two paragraphs sounds so revolting! What was I thinking!
Well God taught me a lesson on true contentment that I hope will stay with me till the second coming.
Pipers A.P.T.A.T. on Covetousness, Desires and Wants
Admit how severe the want/desire is.
Pray to conquer and take away this desire
Trust that God will never leave or forsake you
Act by turning away from the desire
Thank God for delivering you from this desire.
Hebrews 13:5 says to be content with what you have!
-Relish what you have rather then resent what you're missing
- See God's love expressed in what He provided
-I become content when I realize God's suffiency for my needs
- Christians who become materialistic are saying by their actions that God can't take care of them- or atleast He won't take care of them the way they want.
Philippians 4:11 I am not saying this because I am in need for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
1John 2:17 The world and it's desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
THE ONLY ANSWER IS TO TRUST GOD TO MEET ALL OUR NEEDS.
After my awakening and studying this I really reflected on my life and what is really important.
I do not want to be the materialistic Christian. Yes I want nice things for my family and I want to give to others our abundance that God has blessed us with but I need to do it under God's terms not mine.
Wayne and I are trying to instill this in our children since they are at that age of gimme gimme gimme! We decided that for their birthday parties this year we will have it at Feed My Starving Children . They will invite their closest friends to help prepare food to ship to vairous countries in need of food . Instead of getting gifts from their friends they are requesting dontations to the organization.
It's all in a balance as long as Chirst is holding the scales.
If you are reading this and feel the same way remind yourself this as I need to remind myself daily. God does not make mistakes we are all uniquely made and should be proud of who we are in Christ. Relish on the gifts and talents He has given us and be content with the blessings He has given us not wanting more.
My Savior is all I need!
Until next time my friends.
God bless
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
A.P.T.A.T. SCENARIO #1
The past couple of mornings I have been studying over my notes taken from some of Pastor John Piper's sermons at our church Bethlehem Baptist. There was one that hit home that I want to share with you. The sermon was titled " The Word of God is at Work in You" and he made up A.P.T.A.T which means:
A- Admit
P - Pray
T - Trust
A - Act
T - Thank
He spoke of A.P.T.A.T. in 3 scenarios.All 3 really spoke to me and what has gone on in my life. I was really conflicted which I often am after listening to Piper. I will share the first scenario today and the share the next two next week. I would love any imput from you or share some of your experiences. It would be nice to have some dialogue with you fine people out there :)
Scenario one ties in with the previous blogs concerning worry,fear and anxiety. You all know full well what I experienced so I won't go into detail again about all that.I heard this sermon right at the time I was being awakened by the LORD. He not only brought out more insight on the anxiety issue but other issues in my life as well which I will share later.
Suppose you are prone to fear, worry and anxiety
ADMIT that you are afraid and that you can't do it alone.
That is really hard to do for me sometimes. My guard has always been up..I will never show that I am afraid of anything meanwhile I am suffering inside. Well as you well know God knocked some sense in me on that one!
PRAY for courage
I have learned that sometimes you need to swallow your pride and seek help!
TRUST that Christ will help you.
I have learned that memorizing verses on this issue helps me do just that..Trust in Christ. Here are some of my favorites that I hope can help you as well:
-1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
- Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything,but in everything ,by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to God.
-Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
ACT on the TRUST that God will carry you through.
I learned that the hard way..but I tend to carry that through the rest of my days
THANK God for what He is doing.
I know that was hard for me to do in the midst of the pain but now that He has carried me through I thank Him each and everyday for putting me through that to bring me back to Him. Looking back it is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
Next week I will share the next 2 scenarios concerning bitternes to others when you have been wronged and covetousness.
Hope everyone has a blessed weekend!
A- Admit
P - Pray
T - Trust
A - Act
T - Thank
He spoke of A.P.T.A.T. in 3 scenarios.All 3 really spoke to me and what has gone on in my life. I was really conflicted which I often am after listening to Piper. I will share the first scenario today and the share the next two next week. I would love any imput from you or share some of your experiences. It would be nice to have some dialogue with you fine people out there :)
Scenario one ties in with the previous blogs concerning worry,fear and anxiety. You all know full well what I experienced so I won't go into detail again about all that.I heard this sermon right at the time I was being awakened by the LORD. He not only brought out more insight on the anxiety issue but other issues in my life as well which I will share later.
Suppose you are prone to fear, worry and anxiety
ADMIT that you are afraid and that you can't do it alone.
That is really hard to do for me sometimes. My guard has always been up..I will never show that I am afraid of anything meanwhile I am suffering inside. Well as you well know God knocked some sense in me on that one!
PRAY for courage
I have learned that sometimes you need to swallow your pride and seek help!
TRUST that Christ will help you.
I have learned that memorizing verses on this issue helps me do just that..Trust in Christ. Here are some of my favorites that I hope can help you as well:
-1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
- Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything,but in everything ,by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to God.
-Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
ACT on the TRUST that God will carry you through.
I learned that the hard way..but I tend to carry that through the rest of my days
THANK God for what He is doing.
I know that was hard for me to do in the midst of the pain but now that He has carried me through I thank Him each and everyday for putting me through that to bring me back to Him. Looking back it is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
Next week I will share the next 2 scenarios concerning bitternes to others when you have been wronged and covetousness.
Hope everyone has a blessed weekend!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
THE LESSON I LEARNED ABOUT WORRY
The past blogs I have posted have been what I experienced and what God has shown me through the healing process. Today I want to share what I learned through scripture.
Like I had mentioned before,God's timing is always right on! Once I got back from SC and started getting back into my Bible study rountine the first lesson I turned to was " Jesus Teaches about Worry" found in Matthew 6:25-34. This is what I learned from this lesson. I will not quote all the verses in this particular part of scripture so I encourage you to open your Bibles and read the verses before reading below:)
MATTHEW 6:25(niv)- The words of Christ
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,what you will eat or drink
or about your body,what you will wear. Is not life more important than food
and the body more important than clothes?"
Jesus is telling me and you all out there to simply NOT to worry because of the ill effects it can cause:
-It can damage your health
-It can cause the object of your worry to consume your thoughts.
- It can disrupt your productivity
- It can negatively affect the way you treat others
- It can reduce your ability to trust God
All of the above was me in a nutshell and it may be one of you right now. So I must ask myself and everyone of you that may be reading this right now:
How many ill effects of worry are you experiencing today?
It's not to say we shouldn't be "concerned" about things, notice I said CONCERN and not worry. There is a difference between worry and geniune concern - worry immobilizes but concern moves you to action.
THE SAME GOD WHO CREATED LIFE IN ME AND YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH THE DETAILS OF OUR LIVES
Matthew 6:26 to me basically states that worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today. Like I had posted on FB a few days ago is that the one thing that's certain about life is that it's uncertain.We aren't promised a tomorrow. That's why it's crucial that we spend our time investing in what really matters today.
Matthew 6:27 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Worry is more harmful than helpful
Matthew 6:28-30
I believe that Jesus is saying in these 3 verses that GOD DOES NOT IGNORE THOSE WHO DEPEND ON HIM!
Matthew 6:31-32
Worry shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God
Matthew 6:33
" But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well"
There are real challenges Gods wants you and me to pursue and worrying keeps us from them.
TO "SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS" MEANS:
- To turn to God first for help
- To fill my thoughts with His desires( which is sooo hard to do sometimes living in sinful nature of human flesh)
- To take His character for my pattern
- To serve and obey Him in everything!
After studing that portion I need to ask myself and I will ask all of you:
What is really important to you (me)?
It maybe people, objects, goals or other desires that will compete for priority which can be very dangerous because that can easily turn into an idol..putting that in front of God. God should always be my top priority. I learned that ALL to well during my experience!
TO LIVE A WORRY - FREE LIFE IS WHEN YOU AND I ACTIVELY CHOOSE TO GIVE GOD FIRST PLACE,TOP PRIORITY, IN EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES!
Matthew 6:34
" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own"
LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME CAN KEEP YOU AND I FROM BEING CONSUMED WITH WORRY.
Planning for tomorrow is time well spent
Worrying about tomorrow is time wasted
Careful planning is:
- thinking ahead about goals,steps and schedules.
I was always good about planning ahead but my struggle is that I would stress if something got in the way and I was unable to complete my goal. I have learned from my experience and what Wayne always tells me, It will be there tomorrow..if there IS a tomorrow :)
- Trusting in God's guidance
I have no idea why it has taken me so long and why I had to go through what I went through to FINALLY get that! It is easy but yet so hard.
-And when done correctly, planning can help alleviate worry.
To summarize, being a worrier is being consumed by fear and finds it difficult to trust God. Believe me this will interfere with our relationship with God.
DON'T LET WORRIES ABOUT TOMORROW AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD TODAY!
If you are anything like me suffering from " Can't Say No" syndrome. I used to feel bad to turn someone down who needed help rather it would be from church, the kids school, from neighbors;friends or family. I am woman hear me roar! I can help everyone and still have time to take care of my family and myself! Then you find yourself overwhelmed! My attacks showed me that I CAN say no! I know now that I can't do EVERYTHING! If you find yourself in this situation ask yourselves these questions:
1. Why is it that trying to please everyone can actually result in letting everyone down?
2. When you find yourself drownig in committments, why is it still so difficult to say no?
3. When you feel overwhelmed, what should you do?
I know this was rather lengthy but it as a great lesson I learned that I am hoping and praying can and will help someone else that may be going through what I did. The above scriptures just shows a little of how Jesus Christ loves us and wants to take care of us. He only wants to wrap His loving arms around you and protect you and bring you to Himself. Sometimes He will allow us to go through pain and struggle just to do that,bring you to Himself. I know when I was suffering through those awful panic attacks I was always asking WHY GOD WHY!?! After He carried me through believe me He revealed it to me in SO many ways....now I thank Him for it each and every day!
Next time I will share the lesson I have learned through one of Pastor John Pipers sermon that convicted me on so many levels.
Until then my friends
Have a blessed day :D
Like I had mentioned before,God's timing is always right on! Once I got back from SC and started getting back into my Bible study rountine the first lesson I turned to was " Jesus Teaches about Worry" found in Matthew 6:25-34. This is what I learned from this lesson. I will not quote all the verses in this particular part of scripture so I encourage you to open your Bibles and read the verses before reading below:)
MATTHEW 6:25(niv)- The words of Christ
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,what you will eat or drink
or about your body,what you will wear. Is not life more important than food
and the body more important than clothes?"
Jesus is telling me and you all out there to simply NOT to worry because of the ill effects it can cause:
-It can damage your health
-It can cause the object of your worry to consume your thoughts.
- It can disrupt your productivity
- It can negatively affect the way you treat others
- It can reduce your ability to trust God
All of the above was me in a nutshell and it may be one of you right now. So I must ask myself and everyone of you that may be reading this right now:
How many ill effects of worry are you experiencing today?
It's not to say we shouldn't be "concerned" about things, notice I said CONCERN and not worry. There is a difference between worry and geniune concern - worry immobilizes but concern moves you to action.
THE SAME GOD WHO CREATED LIFE IN ME AND YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH THE DETAILS OF OUR LIVES
Matthew 6:26 to me basically states that worrying about the future hampers your efforts for today. Like I had posted on FB a few days ago is that the one thing that's certain about life is that it's uncertain.We aren't promised a tomorrow. That's why it's crucial that we spend our time investing in what really matters today.
Matthew 6:27 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Worry is more harmful than helpful
Matthew 6:28-30
I believe that Jesus is saying in these 3 verses that GOD DOES NOT IGNORE THOSE WHO DEPEND ON HIM!
Matthew 6:31-32
Worry shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God
Matthew 6:33
" But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well"
There are real challenges Gods wants you and me to pursue and worrying keeps us from them.
TO "SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS" MEANS:
- To turn to God first for help
- To fill my thoughts with His desires( which is sooo hard to do sometimes living in sinful nature of human flesh)
- To take His character for my pattern
- To serve and obey Him in everything!
After studing that portion I need to ask myself and I will ask all of you:
What is really important to you (me)?
It maybe people, objects, goals or other desires that will compete for priority which can be very dangerous because that can easily turn into an idol..putting that in front of God. God should always be my top priority. I learned that ALL to well during my experience!
TO LIVE A WORRY - FREE LIFE IS WHEN YOU AND I ACTIVELY CHOOSE TO GIVE GOD FIRST PLACE,TOP PRIORITY, IN EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES!
Matthew 6:34
" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own"
LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME CAN KEEP YOU AND I FROM BEING CONSUMED WITH WORRY.
Planning for tomorrow is time well spent
Worrying about tomorrow is time wasted
Careful planning is:
- thinking ahead about goals,steps and schedules.
I was always good about planning ahead but my struggle is that I would stress if something got in the way and I was unable to complete my goal. I have learned from my experience and what Wayne always tells me, It will be there tomorrow..if there IS a tomorrow :)
- Trusting in God's guidance
I have no idea why it has taken me so long and why I had to go through what I went through to FINALLY get that! It is easy but yet so hard.
-And when done correctly, planning can help alleviate worry.
To summarize, being a worrier is being consumed by fear and finds it difficult to trust God. Believe me this will interfere with our relationship with God.
DON'T LET WORRIES ABOUT TOMORROW AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD TODAY!
If you are anything like me suffering from " Can't Say No" syndrome. I used to feel bad to turn someone down who needed help rather it would be from church, the kids school, from neighbors;friends or family. I am woman hear me roar! I can help everyone and still have time to take care of my family and myself! Then you find yourself overwhelmed! My attacks showed me that I CAN say no! I know now that I can't do EVERYTHING! If you find yourself in this situation ask yourselves these questions:
1. Why is it that trying to please everyone can actually result in letting everyone down?
2. When you find yourself drownig in committments, why is it still so difficult to say no?
3. When you feel overwhelmed, what should you do?
I know this was rather lengthy but it as a great lesson I learned that I am hoping and praying can and will help someone else that may be going through what I did. The above scriptures just shows a little of how Jesus Christ loves us and wants to take care of us. He only wants to wrap His loving arms around you and protect you and bring you to Himself. Sometimes He will allow us to go through pain and struggle just to do that,bring you to Himself. I know when I was suffering through those awful panic attacks I was always asking WHY GOD WHY!?! After He carried me through believe me He revealed it to me in SO many ways....now I thank Him for it each and every day!
Next time I will share the lesson I have learned through one of Pastor John Pipers sermon that convicted me on so many levels.
Until then my friends
Have a blessed day :D
Thursday, January 12, 2012
THE AWAKENING
God has taught me so many things through this ordeal. He not only used the power of prayer, my husband Wayne, my family, my doctor and of course the meds but He allowed me to go through this to simply WAKE ME UP like I had mentioned in a previous blog. I was just going on with life dealing with my stress in my way wanting full control of everything. Well God saw that wasn't good and since I wouldn't listen to reason He said enough is enough! I really need to pull this woman back My way!
I struggled for atleast 3 weeks to get to that point but once the meds starting working it was like I became a brand new person..of course I don't give full credit to the meds but to the Great Physcian! It's like that song from Mercy Me "So Long Self" someone better has come along, My JESUS!
On the plane ride home from SC my mind was just racing but not from anxiety. God was speaking to me on what I need to do and change to make my life better for myself and my family and of course the most important thing improving my relationship with HIM. He prompted things that I would never have thought of myself and some that is taking me out of my comfort zone like doing this blog. I don't consider myself a talented writer and have a hard time really expressing myself to what I really want to say..I just rattle on and on often times not making any sense. I write out my feelings and what I did my day in a journal every evening. I write on my blog every morning at the same time. I feel I am a little more patient with my kids and in stressful situations. I am a little more compassionate and better organized with my time. Acting on what is really importanat and not stressing over the little things. I am starting to take better care of myself. I oftern thought that taking care of everyone else and letting myself slide was more important. I still consider others more than myself but God has taught me that I CAN balance that out that it is really important to take care of my mind, body and soul in order to benefit others. I have now taken that time and it feels great so far..I just hope and pray I can stick with it!God knows good and well how I struggle with losing pounds and eating healthier so I think another good thing that came out of the ordeal is how my body reacted to not wanting to eat alot,drinking more water craving more healthier food ..in general making better choices. My weightloss jump started by losing 8 lbs from the ordeal...again I do not suggest having panic attacks as a means of weight loss! I am just simply trying to point out that God works through struggles for whats best for us and to praise Him.They are alot more positive changes that have taken place that I am sure I am forgetting.
I have also learned that God's timing is always right on! When we got back from SC and the kids were back to school and everyday routine was starting up. My devotions that Tues was on worry I studied Matthew 6:25 - 34 where Jesus teaches about worry and that Sunday Pastor John Piper preached some on worry.
Tomorrow I will share what I learned from the scripture and Piper's preaching.
I know it all sounds simple on what I described in my AWAKENING but for someone like me sometimes you don't realize the simple or just don't want to accept.it.To us Christians I firmly believe that is Satan attacking...believe me I have had my share of spriitual warfare and I am pretty sure the evil one will want to attack again since I have a good renewed relationship with MY FATHER and trying to further His Kingdom..for that I must continue to pray and put on the full armour of God. To those who might read this that may not believe in Jesus I hope you can see a clearer picture of who Christ really is and that He loves you and wants nothing more then for you to be a part of His family. I put myself out there simply to encourage fellow believers and to plant seeds for those who don't. This is not about me..it's about the MIGHTY ONE!
Until tomorrow my friends.
GOD BLESS
I struggled for atleast 3 weeks to get to that point but once the meds starting working it was like I became a brand new person..of course I don't give full credit to the meds but to the Great Physcian! It's like that song from Mercy Me "So Long Self" someone better has come along, My JESUS!
On the plane ride home from SC my mind was just racing but not from anxiety. God was speaking to me on what I need to do and change to make my life better for myself and my family and of course the most important thing improving my relationship with HIM. He prompted things that I would never have thought of myself and some that is taking me out of my comfort zone like doing this blog. I don't consider myself a talented writer and have a hard time really expressing myself to what I really want to say..I just rattle on and on often times not making any sense. I write out my feelings and what I did my day in a journal every evening. I write on my blog every morning at the same time. I feel I am a little more patient with my kids and in stressful situations. I am a little more compassionate and better organized with my time. Acting on what is really importanat and not stressing over the little things. I am starting to take better care of myself. I oftern thought that taking care of everyone else and letting myself slide was more important. I still consider others more than myself but God has taught me that I CAN balance that out that it is really important to take care of my mind, body and soul in order to benefit others. I have now taken that time and it feels great so far..I just hope and pray I can stick with it!God knows good and well how I struggle with losing pounds and eating healthier so I think another good thing that came out of the ordeal is how my body reacted to not wanting to eat alot,drinking more water craving more healthier food ..in general making better choices. My weightloss jump started by losing 8 lbs from the ordeal...again I do not suggest having panic attacks as a means of weight loss! I am just simply trying to point out that God works through struggles for whats best for us and to praise Him.They are alot more positive changes that have taken place that I am sure I am forgetting.
I have also learned that God's timing is always right on! When we got back from SC and the kids were back to school and everyday routine was starting up. My devotions that Tues was on worry I studied Matthew 6:25 - 34 where Jesus teaches about worry and that Sunday Pastor John Piper preached some on worry.
Tomorrow I will share what I learned from the scripture and Piper's preaching.
I know it all sounds simple on what I described in my AWAKENING but for someone like me sometimes you don't realize the simple or just don't want to accept.it.To us Christians I firmly believe that is Satan attacking...believe me I have had my share of spriitual warfare and I am pretty sure the evil one will want to attack again since I have a good renewed relationship with MY FATHER and trying to further His Kingdom..for that I must continue to pray and put on the full armour of God. To those who might read this that may not believe in Jesus I hope you can see a clearer picture of who Christ really is and that He loves you and wants nothing more then for you to be a part of His family. I put myself out there simply to encourage fellow believers and to plant seeds for those who don't. This is not about me..it's about the MIGHTY ONE!
Until tomorrow my friends.
GOD BLESS
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
LIGHT AT THE END OF A DARK TUNNEL
Yesterday I shared my dark experience..today I will share the light side. I will share how I made it through that dark tunnel. I am hoping to express to everyone that may have experienced or are experiencing what I went through that there is hope in those who believe in the One and true Hope and Healer..Jesus Christ. This is what God has done and still is doing for me:
As I was going through the panic attacks my first thought is that this is NEVER going to go away! I felt down and scared and not so full of hope. During that time God used my wonderful husband Wayne and believe me he was a BIG help and supporter. Wayne so happened to be off of work for Christmas leave so he was always around helping with the kids and taking care of me. He went to every Dr. appoinment and the ER visit. He expressed to the Dr. what the concerns were when I was unable to express anything to anyone. He suggested I call my sister Donna who was a big encourager and spread the word to the rest of my family whom prayed for me which I so appreciate. I have the best sisters anyone could ever ask for. Wayne also started a prayer chain throught the Prayer Table at our church. It as so cool to see the outpouring of prayer and inspirationl support from Bethlehem Baptist. When I would have to take my emergency meds during an attack Wayne would hook up I - Tunes on his I phone and plug the ear plugs in my ears so I could listen to songs of hope like Casting Crowns Praise You In This Storm...Laura Story Blessings... Natalie Grant I'm in Better Hands Now. I would fall asleep listening to those songs. I am just grateful for God blessing me with such a wonderful husband!
God not only used Wayne but He also worked through my physcian Dr. Hutchison and a drug called Celexa. The support and advice from the Dr. was amazing. She really took the time to talk with Wayne and I and was very careful in picking out the right medication. She hopes along with Wayne and I that I won't have to be on the meds forever. But right now it REALLY is helping! It took a good couple of weeks for my body to adjust but once it did I felt like a new person. I will explain more on that later. The Dr. also insisted that I go to SC to visit my family. I was very hesitant still stuck in that anxiety hump but she kindly reminded me that if I didn't I would so regret it and would feel even more anxious for disappointing my kids. She was so right! The trip was the right medicine for me and my family. We had a great visit and like I had mentioned yesterday it was a great distraction. It really helped me move along in the right direction. So God used my family in SC to help me see the light. I came home so full of hope and gratitude for what God was doing.
I have so much more to say on the lesson God has taught and all the good that has come from this. That will have to wait until tomorrow.
I am a true testiment that God uses a bad situation and turns it into good to just simply be brought back to Him and to glorify Him
Till tomorrow my friends.
God Bless!
As I was going through the panic attacks my first thought is that this is NEVER going to go away! I felt down and scared and not so full of hope. During that time God used my wonderful husband Wayne and believe me he was a BIG help and supporter. Wayne so happened to be off of work for Christmas leave so he was always around helping with the kids and taking care of me. He went to every Dr. appoinment and the ER visit. He expressed to the Dr. what the concerns were when I was unable to express anything to anyone. He suggested I call my sister Donna who was a big encourager and spread the word to the rest of my family whom prayed for me which I so appreciate. I have the best sisters anyone could ever ask for. Wayne also started a prayer chain throught the Prayer Table at our church. It as so cool to see the outpouring of prayer and inspirationl support from Bethlehem Baptist. When I would have to take my emergency meds during an attack Wayne would hook up I - Tunes on his I phone and plug the ear plugs in my ears so I could listen to songs of hope like Casting Crowns Praise You In This Storm...Laura Story Blessings... Natalie Grant I'm in Better Hands Now. I would fall asleep listening to those songs. I am just grateful for God blessing me with such a wonderful husband!
God not only used Wayne but He also worked through my physcian Dr. Hutchison and a drug called Celexa. The support and advice from the Dr. was amazing. She really took the time to talk with Wayne and I and was very careful in picking out the right medication. She hopes along with Wayne and I that I won't have to be on the meds forever. But right now it REALLY is helping! It took a good couple of weeks for my body to adjust but once it did I felt like a new person. I will explain more on that later. The Dr. also insisted that I go to SC to visit my family. I was very hesitant still stuck in that anxiety hump but she kindly reminded me that if I didn't I would so regret it and would feel even more anxious for disappointing my kids. She was so right! The trip was the right medicine for me and my family. We had a great visit and like I had mentioned yesterday it was a great distraction. It really helped me move along in the right direction. So God used my family in SC to help me see the light. I came home so full of hope and gratitude for what God was doing.
I have so much more to say on the lesson God has taught and all the good that has come from this. That will have to wait until tomorrow.
I am a true testiment that God uses a bad situation and turns it into good to just simply be brought back to Him and to glorify Him
Till tomorrow my friends.
God Bless!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
BEING A WOMAN IS HARD
As I sit at the keyboard with my favorite cup of coffee on the desk this morning sitting in the quietness, I ponder on the realism of being a woman. We women are uniquely designed by our Creator and I am thankful to my Creator for creating me as a woman. There are wonderful moments like the miracle of giving birth to my two beautiful children, Daniel and Bethany. But there are hard moments as well. We women are walking hormonal roller coasters! Ahh the emotional baggage we carry in our lives. We go through those emotions and hormonal changes and still think we can conquer the world...we must do it all!! That can be good but also can go very wrong. This is my story:
I am the type of person that worries constantly..stress has been my best friend for years. I often catch myself acting bitter and angry over the tiniest things that doesn't really matter. Well God put me in my place in a way that I will NEVER forget. I am so thankful to Him for doing this even though it was hard and painful but sometimes He has to allow me to go through this to simply WAKE ME UP! and that He did!
I had noticed back on Dec. 13 2011, which would have been my mother's 75th birthday, that I was more emotional than the previous years during that time. Of course I miss her but I was crying ALL day over it! It was crazy! Then two days later in the evening when I was preparing dinner for my family I all of a sudden felt something in my throat that felt like a piece of a popcorn kernel. I try to get it out and there was nothing there. Then for some reason I started to get all flushed and sweaty and just simply wanted to get rid of that feeling. Then Wayne came home and saw me downing water bottle after water bottle trying to get rid of it. He asked if I just finished working out that I looked really red. I said no and then my brain went into danger overload and I went into a full panic attack. I felt like I was suffocating and my heart was just racing like crazy. I really thought I was dying! We tried breathing excercises that didn't work. Wayne called an emergency hot line and this nice lady was trying to calm me down .. i didn't want to hear it. Wayne suggested we go to the ER but the lady quickly said that would just make the panic attack worse being in that atmosphere. This went on all night! Finally I was calm enough to drink some sleepy time tea and finally fell asleep. The next morning we went to the Dr. My Dr. was not available so we saw someone else. She gave me emergency pills to take when I start having an attack and wanted to start me on Zoloft for a few months to get over the hump. I was desperate I would do anything to get rid of this. At this point I was feeling very anxious my mind is racing. All these horrible thoughts running through my mind. I was shakey no appetitite what so ever because my mind would say If you eat something you may choke and die. It was enough to get a smoothy down.. I basically live on water and now I would add pills to that if I had the courage to swallow it. We got the meds and after I took the first emergency pill I was calm enough to read over the side effects of the Zoloft. The first thing mentioned was it may cause anxiety! What! Well I took it at bedtime like the dr suggested due to it making me sleepy. I woke up in the middle of the night in another full fledge panic attack. That was scary.. one minute I am sleeping soundly the next I am woken up with my heart pounding out of my chest! I woke up Wayne and he was so calm and nurturing and helped me breathe through it and I had to take 2 emergency pills to get rid of it. Now the concern was the Zoloft and my heart. My sister Donna suggested I get my heart checked..I didn't even think about my heart I was just concerned with getting rid of the attacks. We went to the ER and had an EKG done and all was fine. That was a Sunday afternoon. That Wednesday before Christmas I was finally able to see my regular dr. whom I love! She is amazing. We really talked over things and options. She did some blood work and ruled out the cause being hormonal and basically left it at anxiety. No one really knows the cause. She put me on a different medication Celexa. It took a good two weeks to take full affect but it has certainly been a life saver. I felt good enough to celebrate Christmas with my family and felt good enough to travel to SC to see my family which I think really helped me through this..it was a great distraction for me. It was a great getaway for me and my family. I came back a new person. I got my appetite back. I ended up losing up to 8 lbs in a week over this. I most certainly do not suggest having panic attacks as a way of losing weight! I will discuss tomorrow what I have learned from this experience and what really has pulled me through.
I look forward to sharing more with you all tomorrow.
Have a great day and be thankful for your health and what God has blessed you with..Neve take it for granted :)
I am the type of person that worries constantly..stress has been my best friend for years. I often catch myself acting bitter and angry over the tiniest things that doesn't really matter. Well God put me in my place in a way that I will NEVER forget. I am so thankful to Him for doing this even though it was hard and painful but sometimes He has to allow me to go through this to simply WAKE ME UP! and that He did!
I had noticed back on Dec. 13 2011, which would have been my mother's 75th birthday, that I was more emotional than the previous years during that time. Of course I miss her but I was crying ALL day over it! It was crazy! Then two days later in the evening when I was preparing dinner for my family I all of a sudden felt something in my throat that felt like a piece of a popcorn kernel. I try to get it out and there was nothing there. Then for some reason I started to get all flushed and sweaty and just simply wanted to get rid of that feeling. Then Wayne came home and saw me downing water bottle after water bottle trying to get rid of it. He asked if I just finished working out that I looked really red. I said no and then my brain went into danger overload and I went into a full panic attack. I felt like I was suffocating and my heart was just racing like crazy. I really thought I was dying! We tried breathing excercises that didn't work. Wayne called an emergency hot line and this nice lady was trying to calm me down .. i didn't want to hear it. Wayne suggested we go to the ER but the lady quickly said that would just make the panic attack worse being in that atmosphere. This went on all night! Finally I was calm enough to drink some sleepy time tea and finally fell asleep. The next morning we went to the Dr. My Dr. was not available so we saw someone else. She gave me emergency pills to take when I start having an attack and wanted to start me on Zoloft for a few months to get over the hump. I was desperate I would do anything to get rid of this. At this point I was feeling very anxious my mind is racing. All these horrible thoughts running through my mind. I was shakey no appetitite what so ever because my mind would say If you eat something you may choke and die. It was enough to get a smoothy down.. I basically live on water and now I would add pills to that if I had the courage to swallow it. We got the meds and after I took the first emergency pill I was calm enough to read over the side effects of the Zoloft. The first thing mentioned was it may cause anxiety! What! Well I took it at bedtime like the dr suggested due to it making me sleepy. I woke up in the middle of the night in another full fledge panic attack. That was scary.. one minute I am sleeping soundly the next I am woken up with my heart pounding out of my chest! I woke up Wayne and he was so calm and nurturing and helped me breathe through it and I had to take 2 emergency pills to get rid of it. Now the concern was the Zoloft and my heart. My sister Donna suggested I get my heart checked..I didn't even think about my heart I was just concerned with getting rid of the attacks. We went to the ER and had an EKG done and all was fine. That was a Sunday afternoon. That Wednesday before Christmas I was finally able to see my regular dr. whom I love! She is amazing. We really talked over things and options. She did some blood work and ruled out the cause being hormonal and basically left it at anxiety. No one really knows the cause. She put me on a different medication Celexa. It took a good two weeks to take full affect but it has certainly been a life saver. I felt good enough to celebrate Christmas with my family and felt good enough to travel to SC to see my family which I think really helped me through this..it was a great distraction for me. It was a great getaway for me and my family. I came back a new person. I got my appetite back. I ended up losing up to 8 lbs in a week over this. I most certainly do not suggest having panic attacks as a way of losing weight! I will discuss tomorrow what I have learned from this experience and what really has pulled me through.
I look forward to sharing more with you all tomorrow.
Have a great day and be thankful for your health and what God has blessed you with..Neve take it for granted :)
Monday, January 9, 2012
BLOG INTRODUCTION
This is my first ever blog so I am VERY new at this..but as the saying goes "you learn as you go along". I would appreciate any optimistic criticism if you see where I may need improvement..which I am sure there will be alot :) I am not a gifted writer but was called to start something where I can share some of my experiences and what God has taught me along the way. I plan to post the stories and the lessons I have learned along the way that I hope and pray will cleanse my soul and hopefully reach out to others that may be going through the same things. My hope is that we can turn this into discussions where maybe you would like to share some of your experiences..an inspirational dialogue. It will be like an online Bible study that EVERYONE believer or not is welcome to join in. I invite each and everyone of you to join me in this effort.
I am looking forward to this!
Tomorrow I will share my first story and what God has taught me in the days to come!
Chat with you all soon!!
I am looking forward to this!
Tomorrow I will share my first story and what God has taught me in the days to come!
Chat with you all soon!!
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